Once in 1998, I attended a class on setting boundaries. During one session, a woman talke
d of how she worried that she had stayed in her marriage too long - that it had hurt her children, stunted her growth to wait so long before leaving. I was too shy to say that I'd written it, so I said, "You know, I read somewhere..." (which technically was true - I did read it after I wrote it).... "Seek not the lost time, but the gained moments," I said. After I said it, she looked relieved - like maybe she didn't have to feel guilty about her choices. Like maybe she and her children had gained some moments from that time before her divorce. She and another woman wrote down the phrase. Their response gave me my own gained moment (as it let me know for sure that these phrases could help other people).
d of how she worried that she had stayed in her marriage too long - that it had hurt her children, stunted her growth to wait so long before leaving. I was too shy to say that I'd written it, so I said, "You know, I read somewhere..." (which technically was true - I did read it after I wrote it).... "Seek not the lost time, but the gained moments," I said. After I said it, she looked relieved - like maybe she didn't have to feel guilty about her choices. Like maybe she and her children had gained some moments from that time before her divorce. She and another woman wrote down the phrase. Their response gave me my own gained moment (as it let me know for sure that these phrases could help other people)..
......(want to know what Free Writes are? Check out the "About Free Writes" category on the right)
1 comment:
Divorce is often about regret. Better to remember that you are who you are because of those times, not in spite of them....and be happy with your life.
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